To live life on my own terms, hadbeen the guiding principle of my life ever since I remember. Did you notice the use of "had been" in the sentence? How could aguiding principle ever change for aperson? Is it theperson who changes or is it the principle that undergoes change as the life goes on---who knows?

Looking back at my life, I find consolation in the fact that whatever I have done in my life has been on my own conditions and terms, though many a times, I didn't even had the requisite attributes to back me up! But I never compromised and God has been really merciful to have filled me with a rare strength, that I never knew I posessed, at the moment when I really needed it.

It was the time when my matrimonial alliancewas thehot topic of the family. A girl without a full degree in hand, had to be somehow married off. Imagine that girl still having her own say to have a husbandat her own conditions! No dowry please, was the first thing that had to be there if some marriage alliance was even to be started. Theparents were aghast at the bleak prospects that this condition might lead to. Luckily, a boy having a similar kind of notion appeared on htescene and the marriage proposal bloomed into a reality. The girl in question had her own ideals to be followed in totality. And her terms and conditions went a step further. In no uncertain terms, she made it clear to the boy whather idea about a simple marriage was. If there was not to be any dowry, then there surely not to beany gifts from the grooms side to the b brideas well. She argued that when the financial burden was on both the parties, why only the bride's party got a sympathetic treatment and dowry wasdecried as an evil whereas no eye was raised when gold and gifts from the groom's family were happily acknowledged as a right?

Everyone tried making sense to the girl for her foolish arguments by saying that the ornaments go back to the groom's home even when they are gifted to the bride and such aa refusal would deprive her of the gold that she may not ever be able to buy in whole of her family! But adamant as she was, it had to be the way she wanted it to be and away she went to her husband's hoome carrying happiness and a gream of a contended life!

She had a fulfilled life, never regretting for a moment the decision that she had taken. Life was peaceful. A loving husband, three doting kids and a satisfying career--what else could anyone ask for?

THen the life took anew turn. Her daughter was of marriagiable age. The mother had cherished a dream to get her daughter married off in a way that would be different from the others. A simple and elegant ceremony, with love flowing everywhere. She had planned to hand make all ht invites to give her personal touch to the love she had for her first daughter. A soul soothing music, the banana leaves decorating the entrance, the freshly done floor covered with alpana designs..............the list was endless.

But it needs two parties to make a decision aboutsuch matters. The big turn came when the finalizing of the prospective marriage alliance atarted to take place.

The harsh stark reality of life stared hard at her. It was not to be theway she had always wanted it to be! The way she had nourished some dreams for her daughter, the boy's mother had also weaved some dreams for the marriage of her only son. The catch was that the drreams of both the mothers were at the opposite ends. If for one it was simplicity and elegance, for the other it was lavish and crude.

The hard fact that came to be learnt was that compromise is another name for LIFE! When it comes to our own life, we do not make copromise at any cost, if we have the strength to face the consequences, but when it comes to the life of our children, we have to make compromises and sacrifice our preciously held principles.

Why is life so cruel? Why does it teach you some lessons of life making you pay such a heavy price for it? Why I had to be so adamant in following my principles, if one day I would be forced by life to shed them for my children?

I must seek an answer to this.