Reading my last post has brought out a memory that lay dormant in my mind but came up surging forward today. It was January,1982 and we had gone to Shimla as my personal interview for Himachal Administrative Services interview was sheduled at that time. It was very cold as it had been snowing outside. I along with KS and Anshu, who was just 4 months old at that time, reached Public Service commission's office. As I breastfed my all kids till a stage that was possible for me to, I had to take her alongwith. I entered the building and went to the official checking the testemonials and once that was over, I ran to the window and looked outside where KS was standing with Anshu in his lap and it was snowing. My heart wept for both of them and I cried out to him to come inside but anshu would start crying and searching for me, hence he had taken her out.

My turn for the interview was about tocome but my heart was divided between a natural urge to run out of the building and the more practical urge to go to the interview board with a pleasant smile on my face. How many times I had to play the role where my inner and outer self were at loggerheads with each other. I listened to my practical self and relegated all other issues backstage.

Later on, after the interview was over, I ran outside to take hold of my daughter and hold her close to my bosom but they were not outside. Alarmed, I searched for them and sudenly someone, an employee at this office, came to tell me that KS was in someone's home! It so happened that an employee who found a small infant in the lap of a man just invited them to take rest in the cozy environment of his home to save the child from the bitter cold. And there I found them both. Even today, after such a long time, I am reliving the feeling of relief that I had when I held to my bosom my dear daughter and the look of love on the face of my husband was what gave me strength to face all that might come.

And it has been the same ever since!