Nidhi will be going away in some days. She has become very quiet these days. It seems to me as if she has mentally distanced herself from us. Is it good for her?
How strange is the marriage system? You just have to accept not only a person as your life partner but you willingly go to his family and become one of its members. She seems to have accepted all the members of Vikrant's family as her own. But I am really worried as to how she would cope up with all the expectations that all members of Vikrant's family would have from her. It is really strange that in Indian marriages it is not only the boy and the girl who make a new start in a relationship but also two new families also initiate a new relationship. Suddenly, the people who were strangers a few months back, seem like related to us and the moment someone says something about them in negative manner, I feel like protecting them as I would do in case of my own people.
I think this is how the feeling of love and brotherhood spreads across which makes it possible for us to accept and make new relationships in life. There is always a scope for bringing more people to your close circle but we human beings have become so self centered that it seems as if we put "NO Entry" sign outside our hearts and let no other enter inside. But marriage in family has brought me to this reaization that this "No Entry" sign is just a sham and from inside we always welcome new people in our life but the reason we pretend to be not accessible to new relationships comes from human beings sbasic instinct of not trusing others easily!
How friendly the human life would be if we trust and believe in the universal values of brotherhood! But that brings to my concern another point, we as persons are vunerable to distrust and being taken for a ride and this fear of being hurt, is behind all such actions that make us avoid new relationships. We want to avoid being hurt and looking for an easy way out, just avoid getting into new relationships.
But nidhi's marriage has made me see the point of making new relationships from a new angle where the positives outweigh the negatives and thus we make a new initiation in the world of unknown. Atleast in this new relationship, the fear of getting hurt has taken backstage and I look forward to meet new relatives who would be as concerned for us as we would be for them.
A new bond in the making indeed!
There is much here to comment on. Nidhi's going away, the enlargement of two families into one that is bigger, the value of bonds of friendship and the fear of being hurt and of feeling vulnerable to betrayal. So much to respond to in your post!
Our vulnerability will always be a facet of our being in this world and we can handle it any number of ways. We can proceed with unnatural caution, we can believe our own eyes and respond to the immediate view but perhaps miss the detail that will later sew doubt and darken our view a little or we can adapt ourselves to seeing things as they really are, never be afraid to ask for clarity from another and open our hearts and minds and thoughts to something new and unexpected that we may repel or welcome.
I don't think it is natural for humans to repel one another but we are creatures of fear and unlike other species we have self consciousness and can go back and forth over time, reliving how we felt a day or a week before with how we feel now. This self consciousness brings with i the possibility that we may, in looking back see details in the pictures of yesterday thhat bother us or details in the pictures of today which confuse or cause bewilderment. Maybe, then, we put both pictures out of our mind and concentrate on other immediate things - pictures yet to be completed. Yet in times of tranquility the whole past may return to us and once more we face the concern and puzzlement we felt before.
Maybe, again this is a time to sek clarification. To ask directly of the detail in the picture to make itself more aware to us. This might bring peace or it might bring disturbance. The picture as a whole has altered and we see differently.
Human beings are complex beings who gifted with seeing so much must choose how to interpret everything. Yet everything is constnatly changing so we fear to lose our footing. Do not be afraid dear Saroj. New bonds are good. Worries turn often into new revelations which, once accepted, we can nurure and take care of. Whether we tend a new plant or become used to the growth and spreading branches of a plant that we have tended for many years we always have nothing to lose except old ways of seeing that, in looking more deeply, we discover promise in.