It feels strange to write after an age on this site. I feel like a stranger encroaching upon someone else's closely guarded territory. Why am I feeling like an intruder to break open some place that is sanctorum purity?

Is it because I have also started believing myself to be the "most self-centred person"? Why is that a stray thought of someone's perception about me has affected me so much as to withrdraw inside my shell? I am again having some serious doubts raising their head about what am I really?

Another serious observation that I have made is about the way we react to inforamation. Or it could be our perce[ption of the information that makes us behave that way. If someone is honest enough to share some strange truth about one's life, a truth that could be easily hidden without putting anyone to harm, instead of appreciation that person gets apathy. And on the other hand don't we go on listening to and living in a world that is made up of lies, untruths and appearances that are not real?

We are strange people. This is a point that has been there in my mind for a long time and I had to fac it. Am I really not what I seem to be? Is it something seriously wrong with me or the world, in general, has come to be run by such dictums? As world is what we, the people constituting it, would make it to be, I need introspection about my conduct, if not to offer explanation to others, at least to my ownself. Am I not in search of my real identity?

So what actually made me severe a relationship that had started so beautifully. Was it the honesty and truthfulness, but of a kind that I could not get myself comfortable with, that led to the sudden and abrupt and cruel end to its growth? Or was it a remark of the kind that accused me of "being a self ectered" person that made me really a self centered person?

As what I needed the most was to come on terms with the reality. I sincerely needed time.

I would not find answers to these doubts as in search of finding answers, I am afraid, I may not come across a real-me that even I would be scared to meet and acknowledge!